Joy will come....

"In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps." Proverbs 16:9

We met with the doctor yesterday and found out that my cancer treatment will have to be pushed out to January. The plan we had of  getting it done before Thanksgiving just isn't going to work due to many different factors. We could do it in December but it would be hard to make it work around Matthew and Evelyn's birthdays and Christmas, events I do not want to miss out on (the main part of the treatment involves being in isolation for up to a week). While we are thankful that my prognosis is good and we CAN push treatment out, it was really discouraging news for me to hear.

Today has been a hard day, the reality of this adventure not being over when we want it to be has really gotten me down. When something big like this, that you have been planning on and expecting (and other have been planning on and arranging their schedules to help or bring meals) for over 2 months, doesn't pan out, it is hard, especially when you are a type A planner like I am. We would rather not have this hanging over our heads. Having to wait is not what we wanted, but it is the way it has to be.

Psalm 16:11 says, "You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand."  God has set this new path before us, one that is not what we expected. But it is HIS plan, and I know He works ALL things for good. He can take my discouragement and replace it with the JOY only He can give.

I need to embrace this and be positive about this new plan. Other than being tired and still working on getting my neck stronger, I am feeling really good right now, the best I have felt in 4 months (that's when my neck started acting up). I can continue to get stronger and be in an even better place for treatment come January. I can plan and celebrate holidays and my kids' birthdays free of special diets and lack of energy that treatment will bring. Doug can get some much needed rest from doing "double duty" the past 4 months while my neck was in bad shape and while I have been recovering from surgery. My sweet kids are SO excited that I am doing better and can do more things with them and that it will be this way for a while. There truly are so many things we can be thankful for regarding this delay.

I remember being bummed at having to wait so long for surgery to remove my thyroid and the cancer that was growing in it, but in the end it was the best thing for me, since my neck really needed that extra time to heal. I am believing this is extra time God  has again allowed for me to get even stronger and enjoy feeling good, hopefully making the treatment even easier for me to tolerate when it happens.

God's word (don't recall the verse at the moment) says that "Weeping may endure for a night, but JOY comes in the morning". While today has been hard, I will lay my tired head and tear streaked face on my pillow and go to sleep.

And in the morning, I will choose joy. Because I have a lot to be joyful about!