Today

April 14th. The day my dad died. 7 years ago. I relive that day often.. not because I want to, just because it is so vivid in my mind. As I look back, tho.. I am SO grateful for many GOOD things that happened that day and the days following... things I know could only be God's doing. My dad was always on optimist, always trying to be positive. So, for you, Dad.. I want to share those good things from that fateful time... cuz you wouldn't want me to focus on the bad stuff!

• It was a BEAUTIFUL sunny Sunday morning in April. A rarity here as you know. Sunshine can make the worst day better, even if just a bit!
  

• I was supposed to work, but got canceled. (Hospital staffing is done by cencus.. if there are not enough patients.. they cancel workers). This turned out to be probably the BIGGEST blessing for me that day.

• Dad was stable when he left the house in the ambulance. My mom decided to just follow in the car. I think both God and my dad knew that she shouldn't be in the ambulance with him. He went into cardiac arrest in route to the hospital.

• I was the first to arrive at the hospital. If anyone had to hear the news first, I am glad it was me. I completely went into "nurse mode" and got back to his room fast. I don't think they would have let me back if I wasn't a nurse.
  

• It was me, not a stranger, who told my mom and family the situation when they arrived. Not that I wanted to, but I hoped it was more comforting hearing it from me.

• We got a hold of my sister in Idaho. Cell phones weren't nearly as common back then... and she has a busy family. But thankfully she answered the phone when I called. I know it was the worst phone call she has ever received, but I am SO glad we got her on the phone and in the end, she got to speak words into dad's ears over the phone before he died. Precious.
  

• After Dad died, someone (Doug maybe) got mom and my other sister home. I had to wait to do some paperwork. I just sat with dad and chatted with him. It was nice to just have some alone time with him. I'll always cherish that.
  

• During that quiet time with him, the main doctor who was caring for him came in. It was comforting to talk with him, in medical terms, about the events of the day. He said that had dad survived, he would have had neurological damage from the extended length time without good oxygen. Somehow that was comforting at the time.. and I am grateful for the time that doctor spent with me.

• My amazing husband and brother-in-law's. Enough can't be said about how they just stepped up and got things done.. all while grieving themselves. SO many people had to be called, SO much to be done.. and me, my mom and sisters were certainly not in the right state of mind at the time. An example: they remembered that April 15th, tax day, was the following day. My parents ALWAYS filed on the 15th. They found the tax forms and got them finished and ready to go out. NOT an easy task! Phew!
  

• The love, support, and grace shown to us. From cards, to flowers, to SO SO much good food (dad would have been jealous he didn't get to enjoy it! LOL).. we were showered with care by so many people, some we didn't even know.

• Over 300 people came to his funeral.. maybe even over 350. Now, I know how awesome my dad was.. but to hear stories about him and see how he touched the lives of so many was so special and so sweet. He impacted many with his life. I am so proud to be his daughter!

"God is our refuge and our strength, an ever present help in trouble." Psalm 46.1

April 14th, 2002. It was a day that changed my life, that brought me to the end of myself. But it also was a time where God did some amazing things for me and my family. It brought me into a better understanding of how deep the love of God is. He truly is my refuge, my strength. He is the reason I can make it thru hard days like today. He is the reason I can grieve my dad with hope.. hope of seeing him perfect and whole again someday. The other day Evelyn asked what street her "Grandpa in Heaven" lived on (lately she has been big into what streets people live on). I am happy to tell her he lives on streets of gold in heaven. How awesome!

What an honor and blessing to have loved, and to have been loved by my amazing and awesome dad.