Our Spot on the Couch

When Evelyn was born, she weighed a little over 6 pounds. She was little. She was weak. And I was a nervous wreck. I wanted to breastfeed SO badly, and she could barely suck on my finger let alone get milk from me. We tried syringe feeds, the nipple shield, etc., but between the two of us we just never got it to work right. In the end, we bonded much better with me rocking her and feeding her out of a bottle.

Fast forward to Matthew, who was 2 pounds bigger and much stronger at birth than his sister. I was also in better place emotionally the second time around. I was willing to try to breastfeed but wasn't going to stress about it if it didn't work out. Thankfully, he had NO problems nursing... and was eating strong from the get-go. He has exclusively nursed the entire time and has really wanted nothing to do with a bottle, which was fine by me. Although it truly is a "labor of love" to breastfeed and made for more of a "home bound" year for us, I am so grateful for the time I had to bond with my son in this way. I have nursed him in one particular spot on the love seat in the living room for most of his feeds. He knows the spot. He knows what happens in that spot. He loves that spot!

However, all good things must come to an end. I nursed him for the last time Jan. 28th. He was almost 14 months old. We had gone to Dallas that day to visit Doug's folks and got home late, so it wasn't our normal routine. I cried most of the way home knowing it would be the last time. I have been weaning him for a while and only nursing him at bedtime, but still.. this was so final. As he nursed I just watched him, so thankful for my precious son and for the precious gift of being able to nurse him. And then it was done. Just like that.

He actually did fairly well with the transition. He was a bit clingy and fussy for a few days, but nothing too horrible. We have been trying to adjust to a new routine at bedtime and its going well. I am sure this, too, will change as both the kids get bigger.

Nursing is behind us, and I pray more happy life is ahead of us. I am excited to watch my son grow into the man God wants him to be.

And I will always be thankful for our spot on the couch.